Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
