So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I know her cup size but not her name....
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