david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
