You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
