Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
