The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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