she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
