I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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