threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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