can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize