You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
