Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I need to align my fucking chakras
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
