I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize