We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I AM VODKA MAN
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
