we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
