I just made out with a guy for $7.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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