I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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