I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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