And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
