6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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