Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
