What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
