Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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