just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
