oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
