the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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