Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
