if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
