Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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