Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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