Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
another moral hangover. fuck.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
