I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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