he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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