Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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