Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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