oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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