North Korea, Best Korea!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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