I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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