haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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