At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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