so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
