Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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