So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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