I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
