oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
