Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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