I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
