i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
