I must be too annoying 4 u.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
