So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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