I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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