i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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