One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
