Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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