i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The air was thick with penises
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
