All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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