I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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